August

Hey, it's been almost 6 months since my last update.

I realized that most of my postings are about my boyf, well he became my ex boyf now. And it's been more than 2 months since he broke me up, yup he did. I know he can't bear me, I was too confusing and stubborn and cannot be controlled yet I don't willing to change for him.

Since the past 2 months I have seeing another boys but none of them -except one of them- did stick to my brain. One of the exception boy is sort of a rebound guy while I was just a rebound girl too, he showed up in a right time and do the right thing to make me think that he'll be the next. But he left too, the same way my ex left me. And I got the nerve to tell my ex about him and he's now (maybe) learned his lesson, thanks to my ex, he did help me a lot.

People might wonder why, why my ex still help me to get through this situation, but people might more curious why I don't give a damn about my ex.

The fact is, you got me all wrong. I give a damn about my ex but I can't show it up.

I know and I keep my mind so damn clear that my ex will never gonna stay for me forever. He'll gone, I don't know when, but I know somehow he'll gone. Even we made a promise to never left, we made a promise for being best friend and nobody going to walk out. It is so cliche and I know it was a promise that he'll never kept.

I am now frustrated by the ticking clock. Counting days, hours, minutes, seconds for him to walk away. What I can do for now is to bear for that moment. And keeping it in my mind that he'll going to leave.

1....2.....3.....seconds passing by now

and I am still here, frustrated and helpless.