LOL

"It was June, be still my heart, be still my soul"

That song forced me to go back to your place. OMG, I missed you so much, so much that I want to try to contact you but I am not.

I didn't contact you because it is wrong, I'm trying to be sober and keeping every decision to my brain. It is wrong Lidya, please be still. You are indeed strong, you can do this. This is not your time to fall. This is your time to grow. Be a tennis ball, you'll bounce harder than you fall. 

Focus on what you want, if he don't bother to contact you, you can do it too. You are not weaker than anyone else. You might cry, it release the stress but after that keep sober, keep stay awake, stay alive. 

"just trust me my dear, whatever you do, you'll strive first before you conquer"

Yeah, you right, I am just a very little existence in this universe. Just do whatever you want, know your responsibility. You might fall but you will be fine. You are young, you'll make mistakes but don't go to the same mistake all over again. You'll be fine,

"he's not leaving yet he's not coming"

Oh....this writing full of dull contradictions.