Before Anyone Else

It's been so long since my last post, I am currently having fun with life, rethinking about what I want to do in the future. I met somebody surprisingly fun whose enough to keep my other guys hidden. Being with this somebody makes me more productive and enjoying my life.

But the fact that we were started things so ugly and made me not having any expectation for him, makes me scared of the future, I am scared that this going to be another lesson to be learnt in my life. I am not ready yet. And the term "karma does exist" makes me even more scared.

I already like you, I already am. But I was saying something so dreadful to you because I am afraid you'll leave if you know that I might want to settle things down with you. I said that I don't really want to be in a relationship and I don't want to think about it yet because I want to build my career first. But then you were jumping in an early conclusion. I don't know, maybe I hurt you, maybe you felt like I was just playing around.

I am sorry for talking without thinking about your feeling first. I am scared to fall but I guess it is even scarier to see you leaving me behind. I hope it's not too late, I really am confused with my own feeling, LOL. 

Dang boy, you got me trapped.

I just want to enjoy every moment with you, without thinking about who, how or when this going to end, either in a bad way or in a good way. I have to keep in mind that I do believe everything happen for a reason. So, these times with you is precious, and I am grateful. Please don't questioned my feelings, or my intention, or whether you are just another rebound guy or what-so-ever.

I like you, I might be want to settle with you, I am not playing with you, I want to move on with you.

Please stop jumping in conclusion and please stop thinking about the idea that you are not enough for me. I want to walk in the same line with you.