Colorblind Cruisin

We all have people who we keep so hard because we know how irreplaceable they are to us. Those person became irreplaceable because of they have their value and their benefit that we wish to keep them in our circle forever. I got plenty of people that I keep and I pleased so that they would never gone away from me. And this post is a story about one of those valuable people.

I'm not the kind to kiss and tell but this right here deserve a novel

- Sofi De La Torre, Colorblind Cruisin

The first time we met, he was one of my venue vendor target and it turns out that my appraisal offer was approved and we finally worked together twice. Because of that, we became friends along with several people in my team and also his team. He always puts me first when there are some kind of architecture project opportunity. I don't know why he trust me, maybe because I always listen to him enthusiastically and he loves to talk about things, sharing some ideas and drinking liquor. 

Not long after I moved back to Jakarta, he came to Jakarta several times, but I don't always have the opportunity to meet him when he was here. But last month, he choose to move to Jakarta. Before he moved to Jakarta, we met and talked about some projects, from big projects to small projects. I felt like I became his friend and I like it and I don't want it to change. I want a super ever lasting trustworthy friendship or even business partnership. So that I always make him my first priority list, and hopefully I could know his circle, I want to get into his circle. 

And one day, I choose to sleep over his place along with my friend and his friends. At almost midnight, the two of us sat on the yard, enjoying the night and had a good talk, until he said, "you know, for me, life is just a game. It's a game that I had to win" as he sip his beer. "You mean?" I asked to keep the conversation flow.

"It's easier if you see it that way, so that you can think about the best strategy you could make of, but firstly, you had to analyst the surroundings and you know in which the best way you could encounter the subject of the mission and win it" as he looked at me with the same expression he had every day (I already know that he had poker face).

"Guess Surabaya is easy for you to encounter, right? Jakarta is more suitable for you, just like people said to me, Surabaya is not our place." I answer thoughtfully. "Yeah, that's why whenever I need a person to help me in some architectural project, I always call you." I looked at him and smiled, I felt so happy that I was on his priority list too.

"But you know, I easily caught on my own world when it comes to work, I think about every detail and I remember things so easily." Actually, I am not shocked, because I am also that kind of person. "Don't you afraid of yourself?" I asked. He nodded and he started talking about his past, how he can't be a forgiver because he can't easily forget things. We talked and talked until we are pretty tired and choose to get into the room.

In his room, we play things along with his friends and had a good time and for the first time, I got black out and don't remember things in the morning. But, for sure, I regret for being black out because I don't know what I had done. I am too afraid to ask, and I choose to hold projects that I have with him.

I remember that before that night, we make a promise to go to several places, we make lots of plans, and I hope that things don't change. I hope that we can get back to where we used to be. I am afraid that he changed. But I am more afraid that I am the one who changed. Things that I hope the most is that we can still be friends because I know that we couldn't be more because he's just out of my league.

The more you crave his attention, the more you know that he just don't have it for you.