rasa

Satu malam, saya bertemu dan ngobrol sama pacar saya, we talked about things that we never talk before in this relationship. Just one question can make you talk about it for hours, even days.

"Jadi...kita gimana?"

That time, I wish he would laughed and said "Ya menurut lo ajeeeh" and things gonna be okay. Tapi ternyata itu semua cuman ada diangan saja. Somehow he knows kalau saya capek. Capek karena masa lalu yang entah kenapa selalu terbawa ke masa masa setelahnya.

I have some friends who can see, read, smell things that mostly people could not. They said, be careful with this boy, he might not what you are always think he was. And that scares the hell outta me!

Yang dari awalnya capek, tiba - tiba tumbuh lagi rasa takut. Takut kalau this time won't work out, takut kalau he's my karma, takut kalau ternyata everything that my friends said are right. Lalu saya sadar, right now, I consider my friends' advices adalah alasan di balik semua keraguan saya, but I never questioned my feeling.

And the other night I asked him, "gimana caranya mengembalikan objektifitas saat semua tindakan dan perkataan yang keluar dari mulut ku itu subjektifitas dari temen ku, dimana aku juga ragu akan ke objektifitasan perkataan mereka"

He answered, "ya tulis aja, atau kamu baca ulang semua tulisan kamu di buku orange atau dimana pun itu"

And there it goes, I re read my lines, I re call my memories, I think about myself and I asked myself, then I asked him again "yang ini namanya sayang kan?"

"Ya gatau, yang ngerasain kan kamu"

Then the music played Take Me Home - Cash Cash

I listen to the song, I read the lyric, somehow I felt like.....similar, tapi bedanya kalo lagu itu bilang take me home, saya maunya

Take me with you.